For those seeking to cultivate better relationships and build stronger connections, the following advice comes from experience. While popularity isn’t the goal, there are specific behaviors that draw people in, and others that drive them away.
Consider the following suggestions and incorporate them into your daily interactions. Over time, they may significantly enhance your relationships.
Truly pay attention.
Make a conscious effort to wholly engage with the speaker. Give them the space to express their thoughts fully. Don’t rush in with a quick reply. Allow the speaker to finish their point and take the necessary time to form your response.
Remember, silence can be a powerful component of a conversation. As a coach, I’ve learned that many people value being truly listened to.
Authenticity trumps ‘niceness.’
What distinguishes them? Authenticity is about genuinely wanting to assist and uplift others, even when couched in humour or teasing. Niceness, on the other hand, can often be about wanting to appear friendly, focusing more on oneself rather than others.
Being overly nice can sometimes come across as manipulative. It’s crucial to maintain basic politeness but ensure your interactions leave others feeling supported and energised.
Show understanding.
Often, people inadvertently create barriers due to neglecting simple gestures of acknowledgment. Considerate nods, reflective expressions or affirming words can make a huge difference, indicating that you truly value and appreciate the speaker’s words.
Physical touch.
While we need to be cautious in today’s world, appropriate physical contact can create a powerful connection. A gentle squeeze of a shoulder or a light touch on the wrist can build a strong, lasting bond.
Stay focused.
Being present in the moment is essential. People quickly notice when you’re distracted or preoccupied. When you truly engage, you become instantly more appealing, and your self-consciousness dissolves.
Genuine curiosity.
Instead of rehearsed questions, ask ones that organically arise from the conversation. This not only shows you’re listening but also elevates the discussion to a more meaningful level.
Paraphrase their points.
Many conversations are one-sided, with each person waiting to present their point rather than actually listening. Try to paraphrase the speaker’s points; this can be a simple yet powerful way of showing you are actively listening.
Speak calmly.
Try to avoid rushing your words. As a leader, it’s essential to create a relaxed atmosphere that encourages others to slow down and engage more deeply.
Be bold.
Speak candidly, and dare to bring the unsaid into the open. Honesty can be refreshing and is often highly respected.
Embrace vulnerability.
Sharing personal stories doesn’t equate to weakness. Instead, it demonstrates bravery and can provide valuable insights to others.
Give selflessly.
Generosity can go a long way in building relationships. Small gestures of appreciation, such as sending a book or writing a letter can make someone’s day. Give without expecting anything in return; the rewards will naturally follow.
